The Kissing Game
by Evey Claire
Summary: FUNNY! Claire and Shane get drunk and what happens when a misguided bet leads to a meeting with Amelie? And why is Myrnin there? This is a parody! Not because it's insanely off the dock funny, but because the characters are very uncharacteristic! Sucky summary..enjoy! Twoshot!
1. Chapter 1

**So here's just a little idea that I came up with while talking to my friend one long day ago. Claire and Shane get drunk and fun ensues! Enjoy!**

**Claire's POV**

It started out with a little drinking, just a _little_. An insignificant amount really, but apparently enough to lose all my well-earned common sense. Wasn't it always drinking that did it?

"So," Shane said from the couch, licking the last bits of chilli and coke from his lips. "Watcha wanna do tonight?" He flashed me that secret smile of ours that said _so _many things, _so_ many options.

I shrugged my shoulders a little, put down my bottle of coke and climbed the short distance across the couch into his arms. He pulled me in close, pressing our bodies together in a way that felt so insanely right and placed his now spicy lips against mine. "Mmm, this would be good. Maybe on a bed. With less resistance," I said tugging at his shirt. He raised his eyebrows and kissed me again, harder this time, with more passion.

"Since when did you become the zealous one?" he asked, giving me mischievous look that promised that tonight was going to be amazing.

"Zealous?" I asked, "Is that word of the day or something? Did I miss a memo?" He just laughed. We both knew that no matter how smart he might be that word was _way_ out his vocabulary range.

"What?" he asked in a deliciously innocent way, "My girlfriend's a genius. I gotta keep up."

"Really now? Where'd you find this one? The internet?"

"Nah, some dumbass TV reporter said it," he said sheepishly. I just loved how embarrassed and red-faced he was. It showed that lovable, soft side to him that rarely had the chance to shine nowadays. I leaned back against him and kissed him with a warm, smooth motion.

"Hmm, well, it's really not important," I said, trailing off on the end and glancing towards the stairs. He nodded and picked me up in one strong movement and carried me up the stairs. "Hey!" I said, startled.

He looked down at me, grinned, and easily flipped me around so I could wrap my legs around him. "Better?"

"Much," I replied. My brain was all fuzzy now, as if good judgement was miles behind, not that Shane was at all bad judgement, but teenage intimacy wasn't always smiled upon. I shook away annoying thoughts and focused on how he felt against me, swaying as he walked up the steps. I kissed him again, in a fierce, possessive way, with tongue. Lots of it.

He pushed opened the door to his room and we shrugged off evil clothes and climbed into bed, still kissing, hands now roaming and exploring. Somewhere in the middle of it all I happened to glance up and a shinning bottle caught my eye. I sat up and stared at it for a moment, fascinated with the amber liquid inside and looked over at Shane.

"What's that?" I asked, still staring.

"Oh um, well that's nothing, just some stuff my dad had send over. You know, alcohol, the real good stuff. And wow, I'm sorry, but see I haven't opened it or anything, I was just gonna not," he trailed off looking away.

"Share?" I finished for him. He glanced back at me, surprise crossing his face.

"What?"

"Share," I said more slowly this time, "Were you not going to share with me?"

"Claire I, I, really don't like the idea of your drinking. Isn't it like bad for your brain or something?" he said. For some odd reason, logic and care had left me for the moment and I was left with this breathtaking need to be reckless, to be just how any teenager was, how I had never been.

"Gee thanks, _dad!_ Please Shane? It can't hurt to celebrate just this once. The draug are gone and for tonight we're all safe and sound. I feel like doing this and besides since I haven't had any before it'll only take a little to make me tipsy right?" I asked, doing my best I-am-an-innocent-little-girl-and-you-should-give-me-what-I-want stare. He shook his head.

"Why is it Claire that you are always pushing me to do illegal things that I barely have the restraint to stop myself from doing?" I shrunk a little.

"You're making me sound like a terrible person," I said, face red.

"What? No! Not at all terrible just... seductive." I laughed, me seductive? Never! "No Claire, really, it's hard to say no to anything you that you want." He looked away again. I climbed on top of him, laying my body against his and outlining his lips with my tongue, something I thought to be _very _seductive. He moaned and gripped my waist. I pulled back.

"Then don't say no," I said all matter-of-factly. He stared at me long and hard for a moment, probably wondering what he had done to screw me up and sighed.

"Sure. But only a few shots and I mean it!" I giggled in delight and raced him downstairs for the glasses.

Two hours and _many_ shots later we were up in the secret room, lounging on the floor and throwing some darts we had found at some old painting of some weird lady with white hair. God, I hoped that wasn't supposed to be Amelie or she might kill us. Well who cares?

"Hey Shane," I slurred.

"What?" he said, swinging his head in slow motion to look at me.

"Wanna make a bet?" I asked, spontaneously coming up with another brilliant idea of mine.

"A bet? What kind of bet?" he asked, eyes lighting up with childlike wonder.

"A kind with money!" I replied, formulating the idea much slower than normal. "It's a dare!"

"A dare?" he asked, now looking blank.

"Yeh, I dare you to kiss Amelie!" It came out before I realized what exactly I was saying and I clamped a hand over my mouth before I could say anything worse, my eyes widened into round O's like this O.O

"Shit! I could do that!" Shane exclaimed, forgetting that his hatred for the vampires. "Yeah I'll do if for a hundred bucks! And wait, I've got a much better idea. How about a race? See who can kiss someone first! I'll go for Amelie and you can kiss... Myrnin!" I almost started crying delight since I always secretly wanted to kiss Myrnin. His hair was just so _pretty!_

"Yeah! I'll kiss Myrnin!" I exclaimed, jumping up and falling right back down due to my intoxicated mind. I shook myself and made sure to get up slowly this time.

"No, no, no, wait! You can't kiss Myrnin!" Shane said. My face immediately fell into a frown. "He's in love with you! It'll be too easy and that's cheating!" I shot him a glare and crossed my arms in a pout which I was rather good at. God, this was becoming too complicated.

"Fine! How about _you_ kiss Myrnin and _I _will kiss Amelie!" I stated, very disappointed in the whole bet now.

"Yeah that's a fantastic idea!" Shane yelled, eyes giddy with exciment. I rolled my eyes at him. It was going to be way to easy either way. I just knew that Amelie secretly had a thing for me! But then again it was _way _too hard to deny Shane a kiss and Myrnin was so ignorant to those kinds of things he might fall for it too easy! Damn I needed a plan!

I picked up my phone and dialled in Amelie's number which I knew by heart. She picked up on the second ring and did that annoying thing where she didn't actually say anything she just expected you to start talking. "Amelie, I have a problem."

This was immediately answered by a rather snarky reply of, "Claire, don't be a child. I am not here to solve your problems."

"Yeah, but aren't you hear to solve my _vampire _problems?" I question in complete honesty. Silence greeted me on the other end of the line. "Amelie?"

"What is your 'problem'?" she asked.

"I'm not a vampire," I said, very slowly to make sure that I was enunciating enough that she could clearly hear me. I was drunk off my ass after all.

"I know that Claire. Why are you telling me this?" It sounded more like why are you rubbing in my face that fact that you keep refusing to do what I want you to do most, at least I hoped she wanted me to be a vampire.

"I want to be one," I said simply. This got me greeted with some more silence and a long pause that was three minutes and forty two seconds long. I felt Shane shift behind me and move around to give me a what-the-hell-are-you-doing look. I held up a finger to shush him.

"Claire, why now?" Crap, that was perfectly reasonable question and I had no answer to it. Oh, except the obvious one.

"I broke up with Shane," I slurred out, surprised at my own brilliance of it. He was now looking ready to burst and I held the phone far away and whispered into his ear that I was just winning the bet. He nodded his head and then looked sad that I was getting a head start on him.

"Claire, are you, are you... drunk?"she started to inquire, but I cut her off.

"Of course not! We both know that I'm well underage for that kind of behaviour!" I could almost imagine her incredulous look and her shaking her head.

"I will be there in five minutes, Claire. You best be ready." Then without even a real good-bye she clicked off. "Bitch," I muttered into the phone.

I turned around and was immediately leapt at by a sobbing Shane. "Claire? Why did you break up with me? And why are you going to be a vampire? Why Claire? WHY?" He was really crying now, sobbing like a little girl. I laughed.

"Don't be silly, I was simply convincing her to come over here so I could kiss her and win the money." I shook my head at his stupidity and gave him a little pat on the head.

"Oh," he said, his brain struggling to keep up. "Well, then I'll just have to do the same!" He was smiling now and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. He punched a few buttons and held the phone to his ear, presumably ringing Myrnin. "Myrnin, it's Shane. Claire's in trouble. Come, now." With that he hung up and gave me a smirk. "See, I'm totally gonna win! I'm much faster than you are!" I just rolled my eyes at him and started pacing, waiting for Amelie.

Moments later a startled Myrnin burst into the room and ran to Shane, "What's wrong? What happened?" Before Shane could even begin to answer him or before Myrnin could notice that I was right there, another portal opened and Amelie strode into the room.

"Amelie, Myrnin, if you would please sit down," I stated calmly, trying to be all business like. I started leaning to the left and before I could totally fall, caught myself on a table. Stupid drunken-ness! That was a fail.

Amelie gave me a long, hard stare that I really couldn't contend with and then forcefully dragged Myrnin to the seats. I walked, stumbled really, over to Amelie and sat down next to her, practically in her lap. "Amelie, you're rather pretty did you know that?" I inquired her. She raised her eyebrows, no doubt coming to the conclusion that I was quite intoxicated after all. I took the fact that she wasn't strangling me yet for a sign of acceptance and continued, "And that's a lovely shirt you're wearing, but it'd look better on the floor." I waggled my eyebrows suggestively, just like Myrnin had taught me. It took her a moment to get it, but when she did her eyes widened and she looked the most shocked that I've ever seen her.

"Claire-" she started, but I cut her off.

"Are you from Tennessee, cuz you're the only ten I see!"I winked at her this time and her face turned bright red. Apparently getting hit on was _not_ something the Founder was used to.

"Claire, what are you-" I cut her off again by placing a finger against her smooth, pale lips. After leaving it there for a moment to make sure she wasn't going to like murder me or something for touching her, I pulled my finger back and leaned in to kiss her.

**Haha, evil cliff-hanger ending! I want 7 reviews before I'll even think of updating and I know how much you want to find out who wins! I'm only asking for 7! 7! Pretty please? **

**Don't fav/follow/comment/ **_**read**_** without reviewing thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so, so, so, so much for all your wonderful reviews! There was more than I could have dreamed of! I love your support! Special thanks to Riley who proofreads pretty much everything!**

**Oh and sorry for the long wait, but I was in Alaska and had no internet for the past two weeks! **

**So here it goes... Who will win, The Kissing Game?**

**Shane's POV**

"NO!" I screamed like a fat kid missing the ice cream truck. Claire was leaning in to kiss Amelie and damn, it looked like Amelie was going to let her! I couldn't lose, I just couldn't! I had to find a way to kiss Myrnin and fast.

Looking about gave me no clear way on how this was going to work out well so I went in with my natural instinct and simply launched myself at an unsuspecting Myrnin who was busy watching Claire. Sicko.

It kinda happened in slow motion, like in the funny movies where someone drops something that very important and very breakable and that one guy dives for it and the whole things goes super slow-mo and you hear that "NO!" in a really weird, low pitch. It was like that. But real. Because um well, life is real. Yeah that's it.

I dove for Myrnin, literally jumped at him, aiming for his stupid, grinning, yet somehow undeniably adorable face and wrapped my arms around his neck.

The poor guy didn't even have time to react with his sneaky vamp reflexes.

I didn't even pause as I collided into him, sending the couch sliding back across the floor and no doubt leaving behind gouges that Amelie was gonna get her panties all twisted up about, and pressed my lips against his.

**Claire's POV**

I saw Shane move in my peripheral vision, really fast, at Myrnin who never had a chance of escaping him.

NO! My thoughts were whirling! I couldn't lose, not now! Not after I was soooo close! And geez, Amelie probably wasn't going to fall for the same pick-up lines a second time, I mean she wasn't _that_ gullible and desperate after poor Sammy. Well maybe, but I was never a huge risk taker. Or maybe I was, but still.

Firmly closing my eyes shut now, focused solely on my current goal of reaching Amelie's lips before Shane could reach Myrnin's, I tried to close the gap as soon as possible. Lips puckered, check. Hands around her face preventing escape, check. Eyes closed, check. I was good to go.

Moving faster than I ever had before, my lips found Amelie's with a strange burst that reminded me of getting blasted with super freezing AC after being outside in the hot, hot desert all day.

**Shane's POV**

My lips crushed against Myrnin's with a force that surely would have broken some teeth had he not been pulling back from me with all his might. He was squirming and writhing about with all his strength, twisting like a snake, but I held tight. He actually wasn't that bad of a kisser. No, he was _good!_ I could see why Claire was kinda into him. Maybe it was just the hair. Damn that man had _great_ hair.

**Myrnin's POV**

NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONONONON NO! EWWWW! NO! EW EWWW EWW EW EW EW EWWW EWWWWW! NO! BAD SHANE! BAD BOY! DOWN! BACK DEMON CHILD, BACK! EW!

**Amelie's POV**

Damn, Claire is so _hot_, like ohmygod, surface of the sun hot! I can't even believe that I'm kissing her, ohmygod this is so amazing! Wow, and just wow! She's _such_ a good kisser! I wonder what she thinks of me. Does she think I'm hot? Ohmygod she like totally has too, cuz I'm wayy hot! Like almost as hot as her! I'm KISSING THE HOTTEST GIRL IN TOWN! OHMYGOD! I'm soooo fucking wet right now!

**Claire's POV**

I smiled against Amelie's lips in a probably lopsided action as I was pretty damn wasted and wasn't quite sure which muscles were supposed to do what. I WON! And that's really all that mattered. So what, had I lost all my dignity and logic and all that blah, blah, blah stuff that parents talk about, I FUCKING WON! And winning is all that is important.

Sure, that Shane was done with his failed business of stealing _my _kiss with Myrnin, I attempted to untangle myself from Amelie who was suddenly on top of me and suddenly not letting go. Shit.

I shoved her back roughly, or, er, _attempted_ to but her stupid vamp strength got in the way and stopped me from my successful derangement. I started panicking as I was really going to need some air real soon and Amelie was all go, go, go.

"Amelie stop!" I managed to get out at a barely audible length. She pulled back for a moment and laughed, flipping her hair over her shoulder and giggling like a teenager.

"Ohmygod Claire! You are such an amazing kisser! I like, wow, I think I totally like you!" she practically screamed, a huge grin spreading across her face. Normally I would have freaked but my intoxicated mind only told me that I should probably keep kissing her. It was the nice thing to after all, since she was being well, all so... _nice._

"I know," I giggled back, leaning towards her, but missing her lips and face-planting against the white couch. Whoops! Shaking, I stood up from the couch, retrieving the liquor bottle from its lovely perch on the end table and stumbled back to Amelie. "Time for some shots!" Amelie giggled some more and clapped her hands together like a child.

**Shane's POV**

Wow, oh wow! Did I mention how amazing Myrnin was! I _totally_ got why Claire was into him! I mean _his hair!_ God, those flowing black locks were absolutely fantastic and I busied myself with running my fingers through them, bringing the silky strands up and stroking them across my cheek. This moment could be a great moment like a real "moment" if Myrnin would just stop squirming about and focus on the kiss. He was probably just nervous that Claire might see that he was way more into me than into her. Poor boy. I really didn't even care who was winning, I just wanted to keep on kissing Myrnin forever and forever.

**Myrnin's POV**

GET OFF RIGHT THIS INSTANT YOU PATHETIC LITTLE WORM! EW, EW, EW, EWWWWWWWWWW!

**Third Person POV**

Downstairs in the kitchen, Michael and Eve had been up getting a midnight snack when they heard the commotion upstairs and the sound of something heavy falling over. Michael began to dart off to the rescue, but Eve pulled him back, whispering furiously, "Whoever the hell that is, is more than one person. Michael, you can't take on ten vampires at once. Call Amelie."

Michael glared at her for a brief moment before nodding his head in consent and pulling out a silver cell to perform the call. After getting Amelie's voicemail several times, Michael gave up and tried Oliver who answered on the second ring.

"I'm busy right now, boy," came Oliver's rough voice. He sounded worried somehow.

"Oliver, several people, _vampire,s_ are up in the attic and are causing one hell of a ruckus! What the hell is going on and where is Amelie?" Michael yelled at Oliver. A growl came through the other line.

"Wait. I'll be there." And with no further goodbyes Oliver hung up. Moments later they felt the cosmic pull of a portal being opened and Oliver, dressed in all black leathers strode into the room, eyes glaring. He motioned to Michael to follow and started for the stairs.

What the three of them saw as they entered to secret room would quite possibly scar them forever and ever and ever and would most definitely change their lives. The three got a very front row view of Amelie and Claire on the couch doing things that poor naive Michael had not even conceived possible. Behind them was the still struggling form of Myrnin who was currently being raped by a rather enthusiastic Shane.

Eve fainted.

Michael forgot to be a proper vampire gentleman and didn't catch her.

Oliver became quite suddenly and quite violently depressed because Amelie and Myrnin had once again left him out of their uber cool plans. He was especially mad that they _always_ left him out of all the really good ones, like this one. He began to cry and bash his fists against the wall.

The fully intoxicated and/or being-held-without-their-consent couples never noticed his entrance.

Michael feeling sorry for Oliver, because he too was always left out of the plans, went to console him, placing a friendly hand on Oliver's shoulder. This completely innocent gesture gave smelly Oliver a very twisted idea. He sure as hell wasn't going to be left out of the fun again.

Oliver turned on Michael, tripping him and forcing him to the ground. Michael had just enough time to realize what was happening before Oliver crushed his lips against Michael's. He squealed a little bit with joy.

Michael put up resistance at first, but realized that he really wanted to be a part of this super exclusive, super elite vampire group and let Oliver have his way with him.

Several hours later Eve woke to find them all still going at it and ran from the room with tears in her eyes to go cry in a corner. She really hated being left out.

And this is the story of why Claire never, ever got drunk again.

**Hope you guys enjoyed this! Tell me all your thoughts! Did you like it?**

**Again thank you, all my lovely reviewers! I love you guys!**

**Peace, love and Tacos,**

**Evey Claire**

**Don't' fav/alert/read without commenting thanks!**


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